Her Awakening: or a spiritual slap to the head!
Her Awakening - Shared by Suzie de Jonge
Mother’s Day 2012, an auspicious date forever embedded in my memory.
After years of unknowingly suffering anxiety, constantly wearing my ‘superwoman who has it all together mask’, my physical, emotional and nervous systems decided that was the day they could no longer take it and let me know, in a most distressing and overwhelming way.
That day something inside me just broke. Looking back I must have been having a panic attack, but having never experienced one before I didn’t know what was happening to me. I couldn’t articulate what I was experiencing as I didn’t understand it myself, all I knew was that something was terribly, terribly wrong. I could barely leave the house or stop crying; I was scared. I knew I must be having a nervous breakdown and that I had to get professional support. That started me on my long path to healing myself.
At my final appointment my psychiatrist asked, ‘On a scale of one to 10, 10 being back to feeling your old self, where would you rate you are now?’ I thought about it for a moment and said, ‘Probably about a 7.’ Then she said something which was a pivotal moment in my life, ‘Medication and therapy can’t do anymore to improve that Suzie, the rest is up to you.’
It hit me like a bolt of lightning. I thought, ‘I don’t want to live the rest of my life feeling like this – that isn’t acceptable!’ If the way I was living my life caused this outcome then why would I want to go back to that way of living? I wanted to be a different me, a better me. I wanted my life to have purpose and meaning and balance.
So I decided to rebuild myself the way I wanted to be and since that time it’s just like a veil has been lifted and I see everything so clearly. That was the universe waking me up with a spiritual slap to the head! It wasn’t until I realised that everything I wanted was possible and the only thing stopping me was me, that things changed. I now see and feel the possibilities, I can do anything I want to do and create the most wonderful life for myself – what a gift!
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